Friday, September 16, 2011

(Try to) Think Positive...

I can labeled these three first months in my new ( yes, I still considering it as 'new' ) High school as 'Miserable' and 'Stressful'. I know it takes a long time for me to adapt to a new ... place? I keep telling myself that that's normal. But everyday I watch my classmates, they looked really happy and enjoying their life ... I can't help but feeling a little jealous. Then I'll have to fight the urge to cry when I remember those times I spent with my friends back in Jr High. How I miss them...

Is it me? Is it wrong to be a loner, to be a quiet girl? Oh, the look on their faces when I politely asked them to let me joined their group ... and when they politely refused me ...

What have I done wrong? They hardly ever talked to me, I hardly ever talked to them. Oh yes, fool me. THAT's why; we hardly know each other. What did I expect? I'm not a senior student there, I'm not special ... I cry and cry and depressed, I hate feeling pathetic like this.

But when I think about it again ... the result of this situation are quite ... satisfying. I know now how it feels to adapt to new place and things and cultures, at least in this level. I learn to not quickly judge someone you barely know. I learn to respect and value someone as who they are. It matured me. It's almost funny how God direct life. Things are not always what they seems. No matter how bad the situation you face, if you look at it again, there's always a hidden meaning behind it. For self - reflection, for new experience ... to make you stronger, who knows what happen in the future, right? Maybe God has a great plan for you in the future so he 'toughened' you up. Barrack Obama, Winona Ryder, Jessie J, Madonna, all of them had faced even more difficult situation.

Easier to say than done ... but since when life is easy?      

Thursday, September 8, 2011

Aarrrgh!

*sobs* This is horrible. I thought I already knew how it feels when you can't have something you really want, I thought I could bear with it. But oooh....

Tonight I googled one of my favourite fanfiction author. Yes, I found plenty of her accounts, and she recommended this book called 'Master of Crows' by Grace Draven. I've read the sample, and it is great! But the bad news is, I can't buy it, not from any bookstores in this country. The next bad news; I have this strong feeling that my parents won't let me buy it online....   

So, here I am listening to Maroon 5 'Misery'. *sobs* why, why, WHY?!

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

You Don't Know What You Got 'til It's gone...

Sudah berapa kali saya mendengar dan membaca pernyataan di atas... Baru sekarang saya mengerti betul maksudnya. Sedih memang, saat menyadari betapa tidak bersyukurnya saya ketika Tuhan memberi saya kesempatan untuk menghargai anugerah-anugerah Nya: Teman, harta, kesempatan...

Tapi nasi sudah menjadi bubur bukan? Sebaiknya saya memanfaatkan yang tersisa dan mencoba membetulkan yang salah dari masa lalu.